Tag Archives: caregivers

Balancing Relationships

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In our previous article, Caregivers and Relationships, we gave a very broad overview of managing paid caregivers1 and various other relationships. Relationships are more than just managing caregivers and other people in your life. In long-term romantic relationships, particularly, there are many factors involved in creating a healthy and safe emotional space to help the relationship to continue. People with disabilities have long been unfairly characterized as being a burden to society, and this characterization carries over into any relationship where there is an expectation of equality. Even individuals themselves struggle to find their own worth and sense of equality within this relationship dynamic.

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Caregivers and Relationships

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The most common question we hear from younger women with disabilities is how to manage paid caregivers (also called personal care attendants or carers) in the context of some type of relationship. Often this working relationship happens in the same home that family, housemates and romantic partners also live in. How do you maintain your close, personal relationships while managing a paid caregiver full or part time? Keep in mind the following observations are not from professionals, but collective perspective of a group of women with disabilities who have had a lot of personal experience balancing caregivers and relationships.

There have been several books written on this subject, but often the key to finding the answer is simple: You, the adult receiving caregiving services, are the boss that must manage your working relationship with your caregiver in a professional manner. We are not advocating you treat your caregiver poorly — far from it! A clear, pleasant, professional relationship will benefit you both in the long run.

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Privacy Issues Continued

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In our last post — Privacy, Women with Disabilities and Online Space — we discussed online privacy issues for women with disabilities, as well as some of the things we do to address them as a group. Though it is impossible to summarize all privacy issues people with disabilities face, our team thought it was important to look at privacy through a broader scope. Invasions of privacy are a constant and pervasive part of the experience of having a disability, for many people.

To recap our last post, most online privacy issues are related to creating identity. The Internet has some ability to “normalize” people with disabilities and allow them to disclose whatever information they want when they are ready. If someone is uncomfortable with their disability, they may have no need to disclose their disability online to have a place where they can be free of stigmas that may be difficult off-line. Conversely, if someone is totally comfortable with their disability, they can be totally upfront about it online in order to reach out to others in the disability community. People have different expectations of what privacy means online, but the ability to control what information is disclosed can be a powerful experience that many people with obvious disabilities ordinarily wouldn’t have the freedom to do. The same could be true of gender or any other identity. People can experiment with what they disclose online in ways that feel safe to them.

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