In the U.S., many people with disabilities live off a monthly federal SSI benefit, an amount that is about 75% of the poverty level. When two unmarried SSI recipients live in the same household and share expenses, each continues to receive their SSI benefit (amount which varies by state).

When two people with disabilities (of the opposite sex, given the way marriage works around here) marry, and one or both receive SSI, their combined benefit as a couple is reduced to 75% of the total of their two individual benefits.

(Here is a policy paper from the Social Security Administration published in Decemer of 2003, Treatment of Married Couples in the SSI Program)

This is commonly known as the SSI marriage penalty, and it effectively stops many people with disabilities from getting married. Advocates across the country (blog post) have fought against the penalty (video), but for now, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

What are your experiences with marriage and disability-related benefits in the U.S., or in other countries?

I agree. It's the same for gay persons, to the point where straight people are refusing to marry until homos are given the civil rights that come with legalized marriage. It's shameful when uncommon people are not treated as so-called normal peeps. Just shameful.

Good luck to you Denise!!!

This is a big topic for me. I'm engaged to be married 6/25/11 (yes, 10 months from today! YEY!) Both my fiance and I are in wheelchairs. He works full time and I'm on SSI with MA benefits. Before we even got engaged we looked in to what would happen if we were to marry. Of course I would lose everything because of his income. Which, IMO is totally stupid since he doesn't make a whole lot in the first place. I mean, he does make enough to own his own town home and he does OK with supporting him but it'll be tight when he has to support me as well. I am looking for work at home but until I do we'll have to watch our finances. While looking through the SSI papers I realized why so many disabled couples get non-legally married. It's a tough hit to lose the benefits from SSI and MA. For us, getting non-legally married is not morally correct. Fortunately my fiance gets full medical benefits through his job and I can get on it even though I'm also disabled. That is a HUGE relief!! For me it'll actually be better then being on MA because all of my doctors are from out of state and I can go to that state and see those doctors on my fiance's health plan. I think it is a shame that 2 people in love can not get married just like everyone else just because they have a disability.

Similar inequalities here in Australia - but also applied to de-facto couples, including (following recent legislative changes) same-sex couples.

I know people sharing living in share houses who have had to provide *very* detailed info to determine if they are in a "marriage-like" relationship (food shared? shared meals? bills shared? who does the cooking/shopping/housework? shared bank accounts? sleeping arrangements? etc). Don't know what triggers the questioning tho - know someone who is in a "marriage like relationship", has been for many years, no questions asked.